Best posts made by SSmith1226
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RE: A little humour
Holliday Shopping:
“Well I’m in the Trumpet Shop right next to it.” -
RE: A little humour
A Greek and a Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Pantheon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
“Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces.”
Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”
“True enough said the Irishman, but it was the Irish who got women involved.”
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RE: A little humour
A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks: “What will it be?”
The man replies: “A burger and a coke.”
“And you?”
“I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay.
“That will be $4.50,” the waitress says. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount. They continue this every day for a week. On the last day the two come in once more.
“The usual?” the waitress asks.
“No, today is Friday. I’ll have steak and a coke.”“Me too,” says the ostrich. They finish and pay.
“That will be $10.95.”
The man reaches in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress is dumb-founded. “How is it that you always have the exact amount?”“Well,” says the man. “I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared. I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket.”
“Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what’s with the ostrich?”
“Well,” said the man. “I also asked for a chick with long legs.” -
RE: A little humour
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man: “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient.
“Sir,” the usher said. “If you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. A few moments later, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked: “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“ Sam,” the man moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?” the cop asked.
And with pain in his voice, Sam replied: “The balcony.” -
RE: A little humour
@J-Jericho
@barliman2001
Oops! They did it again!!!Famed pianist sees her favourite piano smashed to pieces:
https://slippedisc.com/2020/02/horror-famed-pianist-sees-her-favourite-piano-smashed-to-pieces/
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RE: How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?
@Dr-GO said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:
This one has requested a reservation in your ER
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RE: How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?
@Kehaulani said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:
I spent a lifetime, one night, in the keys!
41 years of my lifetime has been in the Keys.
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RE: Artist on BOARD
@BigDub said in Artist on BOARD:
They kind of look like ghost ships for some reason.......not intentional
This is more like itMore Ghost Ships! No Crew!!!
Who are you going to call? -
RE: How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?
@Kehaulani said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:
That's funny. I ran across a Chinese restaurant in Salzburg named the Fu King. We had a lot of fun coming up with advertising variations on that name.
BTW, that was around the corner from Schmuck Allee.
Also in Lake City, FL
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RE: A little humour
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
“Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.”
Instantly, her rocking chair turns to solid gold.“And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.”
She turns into a beautiful young woman.
“Your third wish?” asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman’s cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
“Ooh… Can you change him into a handsome prince?” she asks.And suddenly there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: “Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered.”
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RE: How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?
Lockdown With Essential Services Only
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RE: Where Are You From?
I’m originally from Mt. Vernon, NY, the home of the Mt. Vernon Bach Stradivarius. I left New York in 1974 and never expected to find a song about Mt. Vernon. I was wrong. This song came out years after I left, but the video was filmed at many locations I knew during the 26 years that I lived there. Music and life were different then.